Essay on Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the...

Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride Well, good afternoon everyone, for those of you that don?t know me my name is Lee and I?m Janie?s dad, and in keeping with tradition, it is my honor and privilege to deliver the ?Father of the Bride Speech?. Having to make this speech is one of the few opportunities in a married man?s life when he is allowed to do all of the talking...and I intend to make the most of it. Now, giving a speech can be a little stressful so I will put into practice what I preach, that is...always remember the ABC to the XYZ of public speaking. ABC..Always Be Confident, ?XYZ..Xamine Your Zipper. (check zipper). It won?t be a long speech on account of my throat?.no, it?s not sore, it?s just that†¦show more content†¦Let me raise my glass to you Janet in a private toast, (drinks) (aside)?. Anything for a drink! The last wedding speech I made was at our wedding 39 years ago. 39 years...Considering the penalty for murder that?s more than two life sentences. My speech on that day started badly, sagged in the middle with long silences and finished in incomprehensible ramblings. I hope this one is a little better. In those day things were very different. We were not so forward and were very innocent...On our wedding day we sat up all night waiting for our sexual relations to arrive! How times have changed?when I first met Janet, Las Vegas hadn?t even been discovered. I remember meeting Janet for the first time. I knew then and there that she was Miss Right?It was some time later I discovered that her first name was ?always. At our wedding reception two of the guests were the vicar and an elderly old uncle who were chatting in a corner. I offered them a drink and the vicar asked for a large whisky. The old uncle said ?No thanks; I?d rather go with a scarlet woman than touch the demon drink. The vicar promptly gave me back his drink and said ?I didn?t know there was a choice?. Now I don?t want to offend anybody so if there is a vicar present I apologise...and if there is a scarlet woman here, I?ll meet you in the bar in ten minutes. Seriously though it is traditional for the Brides father toShow MoreRelated Humorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride Essay773 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech from the Father of the Bride Distinguished guests, those of dubious distinction and those of no distinction, family, relatives, in-laws and outlaws, young and old, friends, friends of friends, freeloaders and hangers-on – let me extend a warm welcome to Meradith and Naren’s wedding reception celebration. Winston Churchill was apparently asked to address a prep school and he got up and said, â€Å"Never, Never, Never give up!† then he sat down. Well you are not goingRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Essays775 Words   |  4 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. 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On this date in history in 1889 the Boer War ended, andRead More Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom Essays427 Words   |  2 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I must admit to being rather nervous about todays speech. As it’s a family occasion, the last thing I want to do is cause offence by talking in too much detail about Brian’s colorful past. I’ve therefore decided to edit out anything that might cause offence. So thank you very much and have a wonderful evening! Sit down. Laughter. Stand up and continue. I read somewhere that you can flesh out your speechRead More Grooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive Essay1649 Words   |  7 PagesGrooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history - the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I dont let her down. Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligentRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Essays705 Words   |  3 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by a Friend of the Groom Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Robert. As they were speaking just now, it struck me how much David and his new father-in-law now have in common. After all, its the first time in 25 years that Arthur has been able to speak for 10 minutes without interruption from the women in his family. And itll be the last time in 25 years that David gets to do the same. So I sincerely hope he treasures this moment. But it is great toRead More Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Essay462 Words   |  2 PagesHumorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion. You know, while I was watching my son and future daughter-in-law suffer through the painful process of planning their wedding, I asked myself, â€Å"What would it be like if men were responsible for organizing weddings?† I’m guessing that my son might rename the Rehearsal Dinner to the Rehearsal Dinner Kegger. The invitations